1. |
pet names
04:03
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i hate pet names for people that i dont believe in
dried out eyeballs from contacts i leave in
from falling asleep, i stay awake
trying to catch you when you come home
i hate to fall out digress and just lean in
from pillows and blankets i have formed my beacon
that warns from the coast
to veer and turn into
the harbors where it's probably safe
i hate pet names for people that i dont believe in
the alarms you set
because you trust me to sleep in
i missed all of february
trying not to fall asleep
because you know that if i sleep
that i won't wake up
i've been feeling sick there's not enough cough syrup
for sore throats speaking, or enough hope for you to stop leaving
i don't really hate pet names
just the ones i remember
jokes with your last name
they weren't clever enough
to catch on
neither was i
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2. |
e l l i p s i s
02:09
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there's a journal inside your mattress
you write things down lie spine to spine
you close your eyes pull covers up
they're unfleshed they're unrefined
you play with syntax
try to design
an honest rhyme, articulate
try to link together lines
pretend the grammar is just fine
but there's no subject verb agreement
you say sleep, you stay up
you're not concerned with passive voice
when actions were enough
to exact by me
exact by her
reach out to your muses, your dreams deferred and hope for
holy hoped for
angels passing bloody doors
you disrespect connected dots
now they're crawling across your floor
and you pause
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3. |
marco's song
02:52
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want you to try your best to have fun without me
we both know you can do that easy
i know that i can be hard to let loose around
because it's polar either straight-laced
or stumbling in late -faced
my anxiety renditions:
"i need to go home, i can't stay here"
i could never talk to you, no i could never talk
i can't hold my own with you no i can't hold my own
the party is lively
i'm dying alone
i'm residing neckdeep in your bathroom
you say puke and rally
i wish it was that easy
i was there looking for confidence
past what you said, my drink to password outcries brought me back into the ground
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4. |
electro
02:18
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i am i am i am
like a sylvia plath quote cd on repeat
on repeat
the feelings that you felt, royalty stripped of power
the membranes and fulcrums of former quicker lovers
lift you up from your seat
they spit and then recede
i am i am i am
buried in your basement lining the cement
the day draft shadows blow over my hands
over my pills, over my hands
i am i am i am
a paperback on your bookcase
with far too small typeface
you promised yourself you'd read
you're with literacy not with me
i am i am i am
falling out of favor with this one
my feigned innocence and self-respect have gone too far this time
i am i am i am
i am i am i am
i am i am i am
i am i am i am
reminding myself that I exist
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5. |
12/24
02:47
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what thoughts i have of you tonight walt whitman
it's all that i could ever think to say
there's husbands in the aisles
i'm in the gardens
feasting on fruits with the friends that i've made in snakes
it's christmas eve you kill the lights
you're colored bulbs empty inside
and all of the bones that i couldn't break
are piled up gently in the stairway
a receiver, I received her
a stressed out voice, youre on the phone
you called my cell, you're missing home
for colors lost, for colors worn
you're by yourself, you're missing home
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6. |
united
03:33
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7. |
jonah
02:28
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im never negligent
ive had good intentions
i've swam inside the harbors of your
malinventions
the secrets that you keep
the organs inside whales
pound me into shorelines
with glass and sand and shells
well wheres your hextant
ursa minor in the sky
tell me about telling your parents
that you want to die
but you never blamed me
it could have been me all along
who only spoke in verses of
rogues and god's good ocean
gone wrong
disregarding labels
use in case of emergency
you never thought yourself one
saved all the preservers for me
i just wanted to see you
with your face framed between the crests
over pouring rain
you're all i need
forget about the rest
you'd been carrying burdens
the weight of two plus wet clothes
manifest as curiosity for where the anchor goes
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8. |
jonah (piano)
01:05
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9. |
snowday
01:09
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crushed up cardboard and bruises shaped like flowers
rampant nihilism, disdain for global powers
i didn't believe you when you said that you mixed protein powder
with your coffee
for an increase in focus and strength,
she said that you said that something inside you had changed
when you saw a friend of a friend go and try to kill himself
on a snowday
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10. |
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your hair tangled up
taped up
scattered strands of cirrus clouds
that i can't ask to leave
i like breathing gasoline
and i can see my breath from between your face
and a hand grenade
you pulled the pins
out of your hair and let it down
you let me down
they're your words when i'm insane
i'll say your name when i feel okay
my lips are chapped i'm anxious
if we kiss there will be blood
and maybe
not from peeling skin
but from biting off my tongue
it all goes wrong
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11. |
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