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been telling myself

by ness lake

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1.
cant stop 04:12
you open your eyes and you are driving, it's a familiar smell of gasoline and fast food there's some CDs on the floor but they're definitely not in the right case and it's hard to tell who's down there the mirrors arent set up right, like someone much taller was driving before but you don't need them anyway you can't remember origin or destination, you're just driving fast because you're late again there are so many detours you could take maybe your destination can wait this time maybe you can ease off the gas and look around maybe you can turn into an oncoming lane to prove how easy it is the same feeling when you're someplace high with no railing or holding something sharp you always said it was so easy that there wasnt much to it the GPS reminds you to continue straight because you're late you look back and your friends are in the backseat and they are laughing and having fun but you're late and still rushing you're frustrated, why aren't they concerned so you pull over, even though you're late you pull over and you look in the passenger seat and i'm sitting there and i don't have a mouth but i don't need one you see a dead deer on the side of the road a smaller deer, there, processing loss they could have stopped but you can't
2.
forget 03:20
id never seen someone burning effigies like destroying the parts that work would help forget what else broke off would help you forget, the things that you forgot you thought that you could burn pictures like your schoolwork in june a shot of us, by your pool smiling for a flash -- before you were through sharing how expensive polaroid film is online sharing how expensive it can be to invest your time you thought that you had found someone who's fine at my very best, I am okay, alright You said that i dont want anyone to know but sometimes it brings me down
3.
drone one 08:25
4.
your hair tangled taped up in archetypal locks of cirrus clouds that i can't ask to leave, like breathing gasoline i'm outside of your car it's far too cold to be pumping gas for someone that doesn't care about me i'm outside of your car it's far too cold to be pumping gas for someone that doesn't care about me i want to paint by numbers i want personal space i want to fold myself inside the cracks inside of my brain i will never lay down won't put my head to rest i was thankful for the boredom and the comfort you suggest and i was never lonely i was never distressed i was discouraged by the effort it takes to get up and get dressed so i held on and i self-talked and you felt fine as we both walked so i held on and i self-talked and you felt fine as we both walked so i held on and i self-talked and you felt fine as we both walked so i held on and i self-talked and you felt fine as we both walked it's far too cold to be pumping gas for someone who's just going to leave LOSE: you wrapped ur car around me you twisted up metal i could hardly breathe i wouldn't look up anyway i just stared at my feet there's cpr it's a crime scene paramedics bandages and morphine i think of new years i think of phone booths i think of your family and i think i'm knocked loose i swear to god all anyone wants is to love and be loved in return i'm not sad that i lost you i'm sad because i found out i could lose
5.
IIR IAF 02:33
it is raining i am falling it is raining i am falling the dark clouds i've left home it is raining i am falling it is raining i am falling to smack the concrete ask what you mean and i dont mind if you stay behind knowing that you might find some shelter with someone that's not me but that won't stop my plunging it is raining i am falling it is raining i am falling the dark clouds i've left home it is raining i am falling it is raining i am falling to smack the concrete ask what you mean when you said you brought umbrellas when you say you brought umbrellas *very cool guitar solo*
6.
drone two 08:48
7.
summer heat 04:06
i broke into your home i sat inside your chairs i tried on all your clothes while you weren't there now cicadas screaming summer heat you won't know exactly how much you mean to me
8.
jonah pt 2 03:24
preying on the new kid praying for forgiveness ordering absolution just in time for christmas but jonah's in the backseat says he's got a gun now cigarettes aren't quicker than a pow pow pow you know just when things were looking good they stop you say that you don't wanna die you proved it to me this time you say that you don't wanna die say it to me this time i never felt so stressed when you'd talk about your big plans and how they might be exclusive from me i never felt impressed when you'd talk about your big sins you said that we all end up the same so why does it matter where we begin you say that you don't wanna die you proved it to me this time you say that you don't wanna die say it to me this time
9.
drone three 09:27
10.
intro 01:18

about

artwork by the insanely talented Matthew Johnson @ matthewryanjohnson.com

some songs I had laying around that i wanted to release before 2018

lyrics, instrumentation, everything: chandler
gas & gas: kris

credits

released November 13, 2017

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about

ness lake Ypsilanti, Michigan

i lean in
n3sslake@gmail.com

@n3sslake on twitter/insta

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