former quicker lovers

by Ness Lake

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about

i almost lost everything that was on my computer
it was melancholy because i knew i had lost many of these tracks
i got them back so i'm publishing the things i was holding onto and didn't know what to do with

this album has a lot to do with my friends smoking cigarettes

credits

released January 2, 2017

album artwork courtesy of Matthew Johnson (matthewryanjohnson.com)

thanks so much to everyone for the support with my music. it's so special to me

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about

Ness Lake Detroit, Michigan

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Track Name: always remember
i found that letter you wrote
the one about the cafe, some poem spoke
by some guy with his throat nearly choked
saying one less cig smoked, more time to watch his brother grow up
and follow in his footsteps

now youre a refridgerator postit away
from the conversation where you would say
i went out for some southern cuts of L&Ms or Marlboro Reds, some Menthol brand, I forget

You always like to switch it up
how you kill yourself
you always like to switch it up
how you kill yourself
Track Name: your dorm room
im between honesty
and a brick in the small of your back
there's metaphors here.
im still unraveling that, which
you snuck out in ciphers of morse
closing your eyelids and raising your nose
you're calm and composed
conversations decay,
you riposte away everything that I held close

so it goes

now im not sad that i lost you
it's that i found out that i could lose

i want to smell like you
in your dorm room
want you to remember me
what we went through
Track Name: cut ur hands off
you burnt holes through your hands
they burnt up through your palms
you know that everything ends
you just dont want to wait that long

you keep talking to me
but i know you just want to keep your mouth busy
you just want to keep your mouth

so you just keep on filling holes
with the things that you burnt up
cut your hands off to keep them still
cut your hands off to keep them from digging deeper still
Track Name: varicose 2.0
ve come to terms with the fact
as things turn green i turn black and blue
suffering from a lack of a tact when I talk to you
hoping that one day you understand just what i mean
there's good lighting in your bathroom
but I can hear you through the vent
youve been talking to my mother wishing i'd stop the arguments
with the mirror on the wall as i thought about you bathing
hoping water against tile won't drown out your singing
and i'll hear

"take my hand please hold me close, i'll love you till our veins grow varicose"
Track Name: i can disappear
i have this bark in my chest
im a tree by contrast
with every question you have ever asked
i'm whittled away

i have this bark in my chest
im a tree by contrast
with wide limbs that reach out
ready to be cut down

a time has come for everything
id hoped that you would still like me for all that you can see
slimmer and smaller in shape
less intrusive on your landscapes

i have this spark in my chest
from where the flint in your bones met your necklace's clasp
there was a locket in your inheritance
i wonder what that you keep inside of it

i have this spark in my chest
from where the flint in your bones met your necklace's clasp
you were never one for sentiment
i still scrawl dates in drying cement

a time has come for everything
id hoped that you would still like me for all that you can see
slimmer and smaller in shape
less intrusive on your landscapes

i can disappear
all that you have to do is say the word
Track Name: you wrapped your car around me
you wrapped your car around me
twisted up metal, i could hardly see
i wouldnt look up anyway
i just stared my feet

theres cpr its a crime scene
paramedics, bandages, and morphine
i think of new years, i think of phone booths, i think of your family, and i think of knocked loose

i swear to god all anyone wants is to love and be loved in return

theres syntax and theres synapses
the real faces of genuine laughs
at the parties we didn't fit in at
but we went to anyway

theres syntax and theres sysnapses
transmitters screaming do that do that
relapse, retract, refract the words into what i never said

i swear to god...
Track Name: i've got a fish
ive got a fish
he sits on my bookshelf in a glass bowl
above hemingway and all of the greats
he swims in circles

and he kind of reminds me of myself
and how im swimming circles
and moving my mouth
endlessly

so ill sleep on the couch
adjacent to your room
nursing my purple heart
ill come to a conclusion soon
on whether i want to stay here for any of this
so ill light one up
it will burn like a fuse
and i can tell by your face
that you are thoroughly not amused
with any of the decisions that i have been making lately
Track Name: i move slowly
carbiner key ring
you shower and you sing
im on the couch with my shoes on
im ready to go
you make up get ready
curl your hair your hands steadier than mine
as i trace out your shape

and ill move slowly
you move slower
trying not to be matching our paces for PRs
with former quicker lovers
and ill move slowly
you move slower
trying not to be matching our paces for PRs
with former quicker lovers

ive been trying to show my teeth
to appear happy
im faced with this stark reality
i've been listening to the antlers and trying not to scream

i move slowly
Track Name: ripcord
its colder again
wearing clothes that you gave me
its cloth cut and sewn up
unwrapped under menorah

the flannel the crisscross
the patterns of autumn
dead leaves and their solemn descent toward earth

you accelerate quickly and soon we're both falling,
you tuck in your arms for terminal velocity
i unbutton, my sternum, each notch is so clumsy
i'm unfurled

i free up my hands spread my arms crucifixated
and pray that air resistance will slow me down
i think of your mother
the words of your father
he said don't you dare do anything that hurts my daughter

so i wish for a ripcord
and aim for the water
Track Name: cut ur hands off (2)
you burnt holes through your hands
they burnt up through your palms
you know that everything ends
you just dont want to wait that long

you keep talking to me
but i know you just want to keep your mouth busy
you just want to keep your mouth

so you just keep on filling holes
with the things that you burnt up
cut your hands off to keep them still
cut your hands off to keep them from digging deeper still
Track Name: always forget
i found that letter you wrote
the one about the cafe, some poem spoke
by some guy with his throat nearly choked
saying one less cig smoked, more time
to watch his brother grow up
and follow in his footsteps

now youre a refrigerator post-it away
from the conversation where youll say
i went out for some southern cuts of L&Ms or Marlboro Reds, you're between brands, I always forget your preferred method to kill yourself

southern cuts of L&Ms or Marlboro Reds, you're between brands
I always forget your preferred method to kill yourself

always forget