i think about eventually how ill be okay
and i can talk to you about the news or sports and care about "the big game" and not be so consumed about which of my friends might die or counting down the seconds until i can be alone in my room again and i can drown everything out, pull the blinds shut.
i think about a time, when i'll be there, i think about it all the time
i think about all the people i know who are already there, productive
how productive i could be
sometimes i worry that i might feel like this forever
and im not really scared of that, i used to be but i still get things done right now
things aren't all that bad but they could be a lot better
i guess they could be a lot lot better
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